It’s Frogger Time!

Alrighty people it’s time to make America Great Again by teaching our children the important things in life … like Frogger skills! I don’t know if we’ll be able to get our next commander in chief on board with this (as his days are pretty full with twitter and spray tanning) so, sorry Barron, you’re on your own. The rest of us can head to our safe spaces and dust off our Frogger floppies to prepare our thumbs for the streets (and rivers)!

Frogger

I had completely forgotten how much coordination is required to play this game. After killing a TON of frogs (sorry froggy pals) I’m starting to wonder how I manage to feed myself and button my shirts. I may actually have the manual dexterity of a two-year-old… scratch that… my neighbor’s two-year-old could probably kick my butt in a Frogger faceoff.

Frogger

Also, it is so much more challenging to get that sucker in the left corner pocket. Darn turtles could really help a frog out by not diving down at the worst possible moments … jerk turtles. This game really makes me wonder about what this frog’s backstory is. Why was he on the wrong side of this very dangerous highway? And, seriously someone needs to re-evaluate this traffic congestion … and maybe re-stripe the road once in a while?

Frogger

I hope whatever he was getting up to was worth it. Maybe he had a frog girlfriend on the wrong side of town … or he had to work two jobs to feed his frog family … or he just had a hankering for some illicit frog substance … I hear those street frogs talking about the dangers of “splat”. A wall would have been the easy solution … keep the criminal frogs on their side of the river. Problem solved. But… then we never would get to play the great game of Frogger.